First my toddler son, who is very conscientious about using the bathroom, felt the need to empty his bladder. He got out of the pool and ran to a bush and emptied his wee little bladder. Everybody laughed and said how cute it was. But when I did the same thing minutes later I was a "freak" and a "perv" and a "frickin' moron". What?! Is it cute or not?
My family calmed down the lifeguards somehow. (I think I heard that sounded something like "fleas a flocking Dumas, eat want happy a can.") The head lifeguard came up to me and let me know that I could stay, but the next time I would be banned for life. He also told me in a low whisper that next time I should just pee in the pool, like everybody else.
LIAR! Several hours later I found myself in handcuffs being led away. When I tried to explain to the cops that the lifeguard had told me to pee in the pool, that everybody else did it, he didn't believe me.
The lifeguard told you to pee in the pool?
Yes.
Then why did he call us?
I don't know. Maybe he hates me?
Do you think that maybe he didn't mean for you to pee INTO the pool?
He didn't say NOT to pee into the pool.
From the high dive?
Are they so different?
Well, one goes unnoticed and one gets you arrested.
